Monday, October 10, 2011

Just when you let your guard down...

FPIES rears its ugly head.  Brendan had another bad reaction on Saturday that landed him back in the ER.  All I can say is shame on mommy!  Brendan had his first upper endoscopy last month that showed no inflammation so we moved forward with a reintroduction of carrots (which he passed) and trialed beef broth next.  He seemed to be doing well with both so we thought maybe he was outgrowing FPIES.  He had french fries at a steakhouse on Saturday and low and behold, three hours later, he was vomiting.  There is nothing worse than the mommy guilt you feel knowing you fed your child something that made him very ill. 

He is feeling better now...isn't it amazing how resilient children are?  I don't know that I would bounce back so quickly.  All I can say is I am so proud of my brave little boy.  He is always the perfect patient regardless of how miserable he feels.  FPIES taught me yet another lesson this past weekend.  It is important to find that balance between pushing forward with food trials in spite of your fears but also listening to your gut!  I could have sworn I learned this one already...didn't I?  I know it sounds like I am being negative but really I'm just reflecting and working through the emotional rollercoaster of it all.  Although FPIES seems to have taken a firm hold of our family, we are not giving in.  We continue to be optimistic.  Things will get better.  Brendan has his fair share of setbacks but we have been blessed lately with two successful trials as well. 

I must say, I was scared to death on Saturday once Brendan started reacting.  The reactions never seem to get any easier.  Justin was outside playing with the kids and visiting with our neighbors.  The moment our neighbors heard our panic, they immediately took the older kids back to their houses while Justin and I drove to the ER with Brendan.  I don't know what I would do without my wonderful neighbors.  There are two neighbors in particular who have become close friends of mine.  When I am overwhelmed, they are there for me.  When I don't have answers for Brendan and have an emotional moment, they are still there for me.  I can blow off steam, laugh, cry, and act silly with no judgement.  Andrea and Kristy, thank you for everything you do for my kiddos and for me!  You ladies help me to be the best mom I can be!